Empathy is a skill whose meaning is not always easy to understand, but which we must all know and develop. It is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and not only feel or perceive the emotions that person is experiencing, but also understand the other even if their perspectives are different from ours.
According to Daniel Goleman, author of the book “Emotional Intelligence”, empathy represents the basis for all other social competencies. Goleman points out that if we do not have empathy and the ability to relate effectively, having a high IQ is of no use, since cognitive performance only represents 20% of the success factors in a person’s life, while 80% The rest depends on other skills such as regulating one’s own moods, persevering despite frustrations, controlling impulses and deferring gratification, empathizing and trusting others.
Researchers have pointed out that empathy is learned from an early age. The first signs of empathy are observed from the first year of life. At this stage the child is not able to perceive others as individuals separate from himself, so he may become confused and feel that what happens to others is happening to him. This is seen, for example, when a baby who hears other children crying begins to cry too, reacting “in a mirror” or by imitation or emotional contagion.
As the stage of childhood egocentrism is overcome, around 3 to 4 years old, the child begins to become aware that the feelings the other person experiences are different from their own. For example, we see children of this age capable of comforting others when they see them sad.
The final period of the development of empathy allows us to reach a level in which we react more to the vital condition of the other than to a circumstantial or immediate situation. At this stage we are able to understand perspectives that are foreign or very different from our own and therefore requires a greater capacity for emotional self-regulation.
Empathy is a skill that opens us to “more human” perspectives because it inhibits aggressive behavior and gives rise to altruistic feelings such as compassion, gratitude, solidarity, and tolerance. Empathy develops together with prosocial and moral behavior, through the socialization process, through identification with significant adults responsible for the transmission of social norms and values. Let us therefore encourage empathy among our children and students.

Gloria E. Gurmendi, C.Ps.P 625
Psychologist Coordinator